My fingers went on hiatus but my mind has not. Drafting line after line. A pile of mixed up thoughts is all I’ve got.

You see this Mamas been busy in a world all too scary. Just a glimpse is too much to bare. 

Doctors and hospitals. Emergency rooms and blood draws. EKGs and EEGs. “I do not yike dese stickers Mama, I do not yike them.”

But he was strong. 
Stronger than me.
He is three and was stronger than me.

I cried on the inside as I held my baby, who wants to run and jump and play.
Who I hold close as they poke and stick and test.
Not a tear he shed.
And I was humbled
By my baby boy who just turned 3 and was stronger than me.
I laid in those hospital beds and laughed, played, colored and sang away the fear with my baby boy who was stronger than me.

Oh the lessons I have learned with just a glimpse of a world I pray to never return. The tests are clear. BUT you need to see the Neurologist just to be sure. I pray for one final visit. One final word.  One final OK.

My baby has to see Neurologist now.
I am 31. Barely a scratch and my baby has a Neurologist now. A name and a face to which I attach a silent prayer. Each and every moment I pray that this man will utter some simple words.
A fluke.
Its just a thing he does. 
Hes ok.

Please tell me my baby is OK.